Teens all over America seem to be dropping like flies. They are hanging themselves, leaving the car running in the garage with all the windows closed, and finding other ways to end their so-called suffering.
I have to wonder however, how much of this is justified and how much of this is the product of something else. Can it be that bullies today are just so much meaner than in days past? Or is it that we have just allowed our children to become too super-sensitive and as such to prone to attack? And how much of this is just a product of today's society not knowing how to handle face-to-face interactions because of the Facebooks of the world and how our teens do not have the needed social skills to get along with each other in the real world?
I will admit that the deaths and suicides have become the center of attention, as they should be. Is the press heading up too much of the battle-cry? Can this be a result of something that would have otherwise gone away on it's own, but because of media involvement it had grown into something more than it should have been? I do not think the media is to blame for this whole thing "blowing up". However I do believe they are partly responsible for it gaining national attention and bringing some of the things that happen in small town rural America to the forefront.
Sports team hazing. Picking on the new kid. Picking on the nerds or the weird kids. These are things that have happened in elementary schools and high schools for at least as long as I was going through such grades. Personally I was lucky. Although I was a "nerd" I was also at times a "jock" and even spent time in the "burnout" classification. And I was a very outgoing individual, so I never got picked on. But I have seen much of what happens to those who do, and at times it can be downright cruel. And maybe that is part of the reason.. the cliques that we all find ourselves being part of or classifications that we tend to put on people.
In speaking with my daughter, a 7th grader in an affluent western Chicago suburb jr. high school, she says the bullying is not too bad. In part because the school does spend a large portion of time trying to educate the students on the possible dangers. She said the school consistently gives them bully related tasks. For example they had to write a 500 word essay recently on the effects of bullying. Then a week prior to that they had to complete a survey and then they had an assembly. So it is evident to me that at least around here, they take bullying seriously and they try to prevent it as much as they can.
In the past there was always somebody who would be the kid to pick on. Generally it is always the same type of individual. They are the kids who just don't fit in for whatever reason. What I have found in talking to my kids and from my past experiences, they are the kids who are interested in something different than the norm. Let's say they are interested in the history of World War 1. And for anyone else that would be ok. This is not something that gets kids picked on. But what makes the distinction between that kid getting picked on and that kid not getting picked on is how intensely he/she gets involved in their WW1 history in this case. Does the kids run around at recess pretending to be a WW1 soldier while everyone else plays soccer? Or will the kid at lunch do nothing but discuss the horrors of trench warfare while all the other kids at the table talk about their upcoming school events such as a football game or dance, etc..
When a kid starts to alienate themselves by acting in such a manner they then become the weird kid. The other kids around them just cannot understand why they would be caring about some odd subject when the rest of the kids in the group discuss something that they all have in common. It is the kid that is the oddball or the odd man out.
This is often what can start the other kids picking on the "weird one". And once it starts it does not stop. Mostly because at that point peer pressure will kick in. If Billy is picking on Tommy, why are you not doing it too? That scenario occurs more often than not. It all usually snowballs from that point. And then we start to get into how the child is prepared or not prepared to handle such a situation. Are they too overly sensitive? Or is the bullying just too strong? There are many factors that come into play here, and they are the same things that have happened in the cases of children around America that could not handle the bullying anymore and wound up killing themselves.
I do not mean to make light of that situation by any means. It is NEVER a funny thing to see someone who has to deal with the loss of a child, a friend, a cousin, or a grandchild. It is a very sad outcome indeed. How some of these families find the strength to deal with this I will never understand. If this was to happen to me or my kids I don't think I would handle it with such grace.
Have our children become too overly sensitive? In some cases I would have to agree. Facebook and other such social sites have served to sort of block the real life social networks that used to exist. People are now learning to communicate without the face to face interaction. This has made some people lose the ability to recognize facial reactions to what is said or to read body language. So in cases where they might have stopped talking in a mean way because they notices a frown develop on the face of the person they were speaking to, that does not happen now. You cannot see the face of someone you insult on the Internet.
Losing this ability to interact in person does sometimes make people unable to react in person and therefore they shy away from real life interactions and become sensitive to things that are said and actions that are taken, simply because they do not have the real world experience to rely upon.
I think the bully education we have started in schools is a positive action. We must also start showing people how to react and interact in person as well. It is not a good situation when people only go outside to go to and from school and the rest of their communication is done with a keyboard only. Get your kids involved in sports or groups or clubs. Anything that forces them to see real people in person as much as possible. This will also give them the opportunity to learn how others act and see how they react to certain situations.
Our children to day are smarter and more technically inclined than ever before. This is a very good thing and something we should embrace. But if this bullying and social impotence continues it will turn it into a negative and we stand a chance to lose that in future generations. Effectively making us take a couple steps back as a society. Keep our children interacting with each other in person and the Internet interaction will still happen, but as a secondary option. As it should be.
